I love the 'Jedi Knight' series of games. They are first person shooters where you are a Jedi, from Star Wars. And the game progressed in a way where you can choose light or dark side powers. And sometimes both in the later games. I loved those force powers. The light side ones were kinda passive, you can heal yourself, cover yourself in a shield, that kinda thing. The dark powers were freakin angry. Like Gripping your opponent and choking them to death, firing lightning from your hand like the emperor in 'Return of the Jedi', stuff like that. I always liked the dark powers, but made 'light' choices when it came right down too it. It lead me to this theory regarding Star Wars universe theory. One of my favorite things to do was grip the guy by the throat, lift them up in the air and then force push them up into the air and throw my light saber at them and try to slice them in two. Ahh such happy memories.
So with that said, I'm thinking Anger is the source of all power. I mean, when else do you feel you could crush that car in front of you with your mind, or swat it away with a wave of your hand? Only when your really pissed. So, what if all 'force' power is derived from anger? If that's the case, then why is yoda so powerful, he's always so chill. I bet he's got like 500 years of short jokes just eating away at him. Isn't he like 900 years old or something? I bet it was 500 or so years of torment before he got pissed enough to unleash the force on some punks. And no one fucks with him or they get the same. Now he just sits and stews all quiet like. Thats why he can't talk straight, he's still so pissed he can't form a sentence. He's just pretending to be all calm in order to be polite.
I mentioned this to a friend of mine and she was like, what do you mean cranky? He can look up chicks skirts all the time, how can he be angry! And ya know what? She's right. How can a lifetime of up-skirts and under-boob keep someone angry? I can't imagine that. There is something very calming about boobs viewed from underneath that is just so soothing. So maybe I'm wrong and there is another source of power in the universe other than anger. But then even when describing the effect that must have on yoda's little yoda, it would be described as raging. Hrmm.
Telling ya though, I'd totally be all up on the dark side for powers. I'm too angry to be otherwise. But i'd only choke the guilty, and annoying. You know, responsible uses of my force powers. And I promise I'd only swat cars out from in front of me when I'm really late for work or have to poop.
Oh and I didn't even mention the light sabers. Geez, I think I'm too much of a dumbass to have one of these for real. I'd put in on the passenger seat when i get in the car and cut half the door off or something. Or swing it around trying to impress the chicks and slice my freakin arm off. Yea, I can live without the spiffy light saber. But sign me up for some force powers. A little telekinesis never hurt anyone. ...yet. :D
