Angry Savage

We truely live in amazing times

2009-03-26T14:50:00.000-07:00

I've recently setup the wireless network in my apartment allowing me to connect my iPhone to the internet without connecting it to my PC via the USB cable. This is all sorts of awesome. So far the only drawback is it enables me to piss away money on stupid apps and iTunes at an accelerated rate. But then I guess thats how you learn self control right? Or go broke 99 cents at a time.

That's pretty brilliant isn't it? The way the iPhone has really capitalized on the impulse buy. Its like the last 5 minutes of grocery shopping extended to 24 hours a day. You know, the 5 feet or so preceding the checkout person. Has all the candy, gum, tabloids, TV guide, etc. All the crap you really don't go looking for, but since its there, and your staring at it anyway. I mean, this old lady with the bag of coupons hasn't even busted out her checkbook yet, so I've got a few minutes. Why not look at the tabloid rags... then you get hooked into some stupid thing and walk out with the thing. Its just like that, only ALL THE TIME! Bravo Apple, bravo.

So yea, now that the wireless connection is up, I don't have to download at 3G, but as fast as my cable modem will give me, which is pretty darn fast compared to the cell network. I grabbed a few songs because i could. Its different when its that fast. Grabbed a whole album in a few minutes. There goes $10. Don't regret that one yet though, good album :) And no I'm not telling you what it is. I will not contribute to the delinquency of your bank account. I have enough guilt over my own :p

But really, iPhone has that app where you hear a song and it tells you what it is, you click buy and poof, you own the album. It was just the background music at some store you walked by, and now you own the album. How cool is that?? Do kids today know how awesome it is now? Or have I just gotten to the point where I'm that old guy that says "You kids don't know how good you have it."? I remember my parents telling ME that, and I was all like 'what-ever'. Wow, progress is cool.

Use the Force, bitch!

2008-09-29T11:11:00.000-07:00

I love the 'Jedi Knight' series of games. They are first person shooters where you are a Jedi, from Star Wars. And the game progressed in a way where you can choose light or dark side powers. And sometimes both in the later games. I loved those force powers. The light side ones were kinda passive, you can heal yourself, cover yourself in a shield, that kinda thing. The dark powers were freakin angry. Like Gripping your opponent and choking them to death, firing lightning from your hand like the emperor in 'Return of the Jedi', stuff like that. I always liked the dark powers, but made 'light' choices when it came right down too it. It lead me to this theory regarding Star Wars universe theory. One of my favorite things to do was grip the guy by the throat, lift them up in the air and then force push them up into the air and throw my light saber at them and try to slice them in two. Ahh such happy memories.

So with that said, I'm thinking Anger is the source of all power. I mean, when else do you feel you could crush that car in front of you with your mind, or swat it away with a wave of your hand? Only when your really pissed. So, what if all 'force' power is derived from anger? If that's the case, then why is yoda so powerful, he's always so chill. I bet he's got like 500 years of short jokes just eating away at him. Isn't he like 900 years old or something? I bet it was 500 or so years of torment before he got pissed enough to unleash the force on some punks. And no one fucks with him or they get the same. Now he just sits and stews all quiet like. Thats why he can't talk straight, he's still so pissed he can't form a sentence. He's just pretending to be all calm in order to be polite.

I mentioned this to a friend of mine and she was like, what do you mean cranky? He can look up chicks skirts all the time, how can he be angry! And ya know what? She's right. How can a lifetime of up-skirts and under-boob keep someone angry? I can't imagine that. There is something very calming about boobs viewed from underneath that is just so soothing. So maybe I'm wrong and there is another source of power in the universe other than anger. But then even when describing the effect that must have on yoda's little yoda, it would be described as raging. Hrmm.

Telling ya though, I'd totally be all up on the dark side for powers. I'm too angry to be otherwise. But i'd only choke the guilty, and annoying. You know, responsible uses of my force powers. And I promise I'd only swat cars out from in front of me when I'm really late for work or have to poop.

Oh and I didn't even mention the light sabers. Geez, I think I'm too much of a dumbass to have one of these for real. I'd put in on the passenger seat when i get in the car and cut half the door off or something. Or swing it around trying to impress the chicks and slice my freakin arm off. Yea, I can live without the spiffy light saber. But sign me up for some force powers. A little telekinesis never hurt anyone. ...yet. :D

New Species Discovered!

2008-07-21T09:26:00.000-07:00

Have you ever encountered those types of idiots that just love to tell you about everything. You know, the ones that feel the need to explain it to every last detail as if you werent the one who told them about it in the first place? These are simply the know-it-all idiots. I have frequently encountered such people and thought I had understood them sufficiently to ignore them correctly. I was not prepared for what I encountered recently however.

Recently I've encountered a new classification of idiot. It was truely impressive as I slowly realised what was happenning. There was the know it all idiot, and the coversation was joined by another 'doesnt-know-shit' idiot. My initial reaction was simply, great here we go. But honestly, I had no idea what was about to occur.

The know-it-all idiot was spouting his nonsense, and then the doesnt-know-shit idiot started asking him questions, as if he had found this new fountain of knowlege that he could not drink enough from. And thats when it happened. Its like their idiocy combined to form some sort of Idiot Voltron. More powerful then either of them and far more then the both of them combined, this was truley an unstoppable force of stupidity. I could not interject facts, as they were dismissed by the know-it-all, and backed up by his new teamate Mr. Doesnt-know-shit. And when Mr. Doesnt-know-shit asked a question, even thouh the answers were handed to him by a half a dozen people, he didn't stop searching for an answer until Mr. Know-it-all fed it to him, with all the information the past six people had just said. And delivered it as if he was the only one to ever say those words in recorded history.

I am ashamed to say I was forced to retreat. I could not handle the sheer power of that level of stupidity. Truely a sad day indeed when such powers arise to combat the common sense of the average person. I only hope there is a similar force for good out there to combat this. I only hope.

Yes, this really happenned

2008-06-26T12:44:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting here thinking I'd like to entertain a friend with a story. Thing is though, I have no idea where to begin. I know I want it to be amusing, maybe a little deep. I certainly want it to be something impressive because she's a pretty girl and all the boys want to impress the pretty girls. That reminds me of a story of my own actually...

I remember the first time I saw a really pretty girl and became totally stupid. It was in kindergarten, and her name was Kim. It was catholic school and yea, we all had uniforms. And yea, all the girls look really cute in the uniforms, and I still get kinda stupid when I see those. Anyway..

I don't remember the day so much as the circumstances surrounding my stupid moment. We were doing some kinda arts and crafts. You know, uncooked pasta, glitter, and good old fashioned elmer's glue. We all had paper plates to hold our stuff on, and I had a big pool of glue on my plate. We were standing up and in line to get something from the teacher, maybe more macaroni or something I don't really remember. I just remember I was behind her in line and was making sure my plate with glue didn't get near her hair.

She had really nice light brown hair, and I didn't wanna mess it up. She turns around and smiles this big pretty smile at me and asks me a question. I think she asked me a question, like 'what are you making?' or 'how are you doing?' i have no idea. All I remember clearly was she turned around, smiled and said something to me. I was completely stupefied. I didn't even know what to do. Somehow for some reason I have yet to even discover let alone comprehend, I dipped my right index finger into the Elmer's glue and tasted it. Never taking my eyes off of hers. I remember these big blue eyes. (No idea what they really are, but thats how i remember it) And I tasted the glue, and instantly was all "BLECH!" EEEeew! She chuckled and asked how did that taste? (Like she was amused) And I said 'Like a rotten candy cane.'. She laughed and turned back around.

I don't think I ever could talk to her again because of that. I always felt like such an idiot. I remember changing schools and losing all the friends I had at that catholic school, including her. I think she even gave me her phone number and everything. (Which my father threw away because he didn't know what this paper was on the kitchen table. Thanks Dad!) And I thought I'd never see her again. Then when I had gotten to high school, there she was! She was a cheerleader, and still very pretty. Only now she had grown up.

I know she knew who I was, we did make eye contact once or twice but I always felt like that little kid that just went all stupid and ate glue in front of the prettiest girl in school. I never talked to her, and she never talked to me. It's just another one of my many regrets. If I could find her, and talk to her again? I'd love to share this story with her now just to hear her laugh again. And this time we could both share a laugh. And I could see that pretty smile and big blue eyes again. Only this time I'll be sure to not have a plate with glue on it in front of me!

For Great Justice!

2007-07-19T11:54:00.001-07:00

I saw Ghost Rider last night. I was a fan of the comic when i was a kid, and liked the move. I wanted more out of it, but I think its a good start. I hope to see more of it in the future.

The Ghost Rider has a power called the 'Penance Stare'. He looks into your soul and sees all the pain you've ever inflicted on the innocent and makes you experience it all at once. I always liked that power. Vengeful Justice that gives you what you completely deserve.

I'm at work today, and dealing with something freakin stupid. I don't want to go into details because I don't want to bad mouth clients of the company ;) But during one of my bouts of swearing at the screen it occurred to me. Man we need some kinda Ghost Rider power for the stupid. Just like the Penance Stare only instead of the pain they inflicted to the innocent... its the pain their stupidity has inflicted on others around them. I would pay good money for that kinda power.

I wouldn't use it wisely either. I'd use it all the time. Drive Thru, Waiting in line at the post office, the bank, the movies.... No one would be safe. This power should only be used on the chronically stupid, but I would not discriminate. But considering my luck, I'd catch myself in the mirror one day and end up zapping myself. I've had my share of stupid moments. And zapping myself with a power that makes you experience the pain that others feel for your stupidity is pretty stupid in itself. And that would give me pain... which inflicts more pain ...and more pain .. it would cause some kinda stupid feedback loop and i'd probably explode in some stupidity overload.

But then if i as stupid enough to zap myself I'd deserve it. :P

Fun Times at the Movies

2007-07-11T11:57:00.001-07:00

I wanted to see Transformers this week. I've been pretty excited about having a new Transformers movie being a fan of the 80's cartoon. I was also really happy to see the Voice of Optimus Prime is the same voice actor as the original.

So monday evening I'm hanging out with some friends online, and talking about how they saw it and it rocked. So I check moviephone.com and see that the late show at a local theatre is 10:40pm. Ok its late, but I'll do it. So I head out and get to the theatre all psyched about finally seeing the Transformers! I get there and all the lights are off. Wha?? Apparently, the 10:40 didn't apply to monday or something cause they were closed.

Bah, I'll see it another night. I grab something to eat on the way home and play some Lord of the Rings Online with my friends till all hours and show up late to work the next day. Good times.

I figured the next day i'd try again, this time shooting for the 7:30 show. I got out of work around 7pm (Yea well I have to make up for all that lateness somehow) and head to the movies. I get there and its packed. Who knew Tuesday was such a popular movie night? I actually got there at 7:30, and I figured I could grab a ticket and get right in. Nope. Im in line 20 minutes and luckily there's an 8pm show. So I'm right on time for that one. Score, Im in!

Regal theaters has a promotional card thing, and sometimes you get free popcorn. This night I got a free small popcorn. I usually don't spend any money on food in the theatre because they gouge you worse then ball parks. But I felt like I should at least take advantage of me 'free' small popcorn. So I head to the snack bar.

I hand my ticket to some old lady, who probably owns the place. I'm thinking this because of the way she's bossing those little high schoolers around. Either that or she's just some bitter librarian or something. Anyway, she sees my ticket and takes it from me asking 'Would you like to upgrade to a medium popcorn for just 50 cents?'. I stammer at the bargain, and say yes. Please give me more popcorn I can possibly eat for 50 cents. And thinking of all that salty buttery goodness, I'm in need of a drink. So I ask for a medium coke, not realizing that their medium is about the size of a 2 liter coke. Whatever. As she hands me this monstrosity of a coke she says 'You get free refills too'. Holy crap. As If I could even drink all of this you're saying I can fill it up again if I wanted? I guess that can justify the gouging. But it gets better. She then rings me up, and I hand her my card. Pay and head to the theatre.

Here's the thing though. I paid $9.50 for my "free" popcorn and soda. She forgot about my free small popcorn, and I like the sheep that I am just paid and walked away without a word. I'm not one to go back and demand money back when I screwed up. I had my chance when she told me how much it was and I PAID it. Geez I freakin paid it. Anyway, I'm looking for a seat and I usually like to sit right in the center. But there's lots of kids and stuff so I go off to the side near one of those handicapped spaces so I can stretch out and relax. It's kinda nice not having anyone in front of you.

I setup camp, and relax to watch some previews or whatever the heck is gonna be shown before the movie actually starts. I like sitting alone so I can totally hog the arm rests. A few minutes later people start trickling in more and more. The theatre is still really empty so there's room to sit everywhere. For some reason 2 old ladies decide the 2 seats to my left are perfect. And have a seat. Crap! There goes my left arm rest. I still have my claim staked, As long as I don't jab her with my elbow its all good. So I lean a little to my right and settle in again.

The movie is just about to start, lights going dim etc when this group of high schoolers wanders in and looks at the row I'm in. The whole theatre is pretty empty except for a cluster in the middle, which is a few rows up and far right of me. They figure This is the row they want to sit in , and start heading in. We do the whole 'scuse me, pardon me' routine and there's about 6 of them. A whole row of no less then 20 seats to my right and they sit in the 6 right next to me. WTF? Now I'm elbows in and kinda pissed. At least the girl next to me was small so I intimidated my way into dominating those armrests. But still, a whole theatre of empty seats and everyone has gotta sit near me. pfft.

Other then that it was pretty uneventful. There was only one time when the little people to my right were making out which was cool because it meant she was leaning away from me. good times.

The movie rocked, and you should all go see it. I'm not gonna review it or anything, I'd rather you get your own impressions from it. All in all I was NOT happy with my 2 liter of coke that I could never refill and popcorn I could never finish for $9.50. But the movie was great :)

I Love the Drive-Thru

2007-07-09T11:32:00.000-07:00

You know why those Wendy's hot sauce packets are made of golden foil? I do. Its because they treat them like GOLD. They don't just hand them out to everybody. You gotta beg! Seriously, there's a Wendy's I go to that must think those hot sauce packets cost $10 each or something. Here's what happens...

I order 2 large Chilis through the Drive thru. I ask for hot sauce when ordering. Get to the window, pay, and get my stuff. Then I look in the bag as the person at the window gives me that look. You know that look, the one that says "I gave you all your gonna get now get the hell outa here". Yea that look. And I actually move everything around to be absolutely certain that little packet isn't tucked under the fries, or behind the chili. No hot sauce. Ok it happens, so I look at the window until whomever is there decides to open it and take my request. I now know how Dorothy feels at the Emerald Castle. "What? NOBODY Gets to see the Wizard!", only it was more like "What? Nobody gets to see the hot sauce!". Thats what the look on her face told me anyway. Then plainly ask, "Can I have some hot sauce please for my chili". Without a word she goes in and grabs me a single packet of hot sauce. And as she's giving it to me with this look of utter distain I ask for a second packet. She then rolls her eyes, grumbles something I'm kinda glad I can't hear and gets me a second packet. Slaps it into my hand and slams that little window thing shut.

Now, this wouldn't be so terrible really if it happened once in a while. Everyone has a bad day etc. But this happens every time I go to that Wendy's. And what's really impressive, it happens with every drive-thru employee. It's like there's some sort of Hot Sauce Quota that they can't exceed or they get fined.

This sort of thing isn't just limited to Wendy's. Plenty of other places do the same thing they just don't have those golden packets. For example there's a McDonald's I go to that when you order a Large Coke, you get a Small Coke's worth of soda, and nothing but Ice. WTF? I asked for no ice once, only once. And I swear they packed more Ice in there to spite me. There's another McDonald's that appears to believe that French Fries must be rationed very carefully. All orders of fries have a minimum amount of fries in them. Every order of Large Fries has a Small fries amount of fries. And the small fries is like a half eaten kids meal or something. I guess if there are more then one fry it still counts as an order of 'fries'.

What ever happened to the days when a large fries was an overflowing cardboard thingy with so many fries you lost half of them just getting them in the bag. I miss those days. I will say this though, Taco Bell is the COMPLETE opposite. If I ask for some Mild sauce for my tacos, I get a few pounds of packets. Thats pretty awesome. Not only am I set for this trip, but I i forget to ask next time I have more then enough for me and a party of 15 of my friends. Its just nice to know they care enough to load me down with sauce. Thank you Taco Bell :)

In some cases I just go to a different McDonald's, or Wendy's. But in other cases there isn't anther fast food place for 30 miles, of ANY kind. Let alone another one of the same kind. So you're stuck.

There's a McDonalds that has cold food 100% of the time. I don't understand it. Its like it goes from the fridge to your plate. I can't see how the fries get fried if they're that cold. And the Wendy's place that ALWAYS has burnt chili. Ok, the 2 or 3 Wendy's places. I only know one Wendy's that doesnt burnt the hell out of the chili and it tastes awesome. I just don't understand. They want to make money but don't want to read the instructions on how to cook the food?

Oh man, speaking of instructions, doesn't Taco Bell have pictures for all their dishes? So that any 4 year old can make a soft taco or something? I've seen them, I know they are there. Yet only 1 out of 5 taco bell places in the area can put together a 'Southwest Steak Bowl'. And 3 out of those 5 actually realize its supposed to have steak on it. Ok, so your not making six figures. Fine, i get it. But can you at least give me what im asking for? It's really not all that difficult. I guess all that sauce is handed out because they feel guilty about screwing up your food? At least you really cant screw up a taco, oh wait, nvm. I've actually gotten tacos with no meat before. That was an interesting experiance. Lettuce sandwich yay!

And what is it with the owners of these places anyway? I know business is good, because I'm stuck in line with all the other displeased customers that keep coming back. So why is it that they feel so in need to cut corners that badly?? WTF? just give me my food in the proper portions please? Can't I just 'Have it my way'? It's bad enough that some places can't even understand I only want Ketchup on my cheeseburger. If I say 'Ketchup Only' my cheese disapears. Its like the owners are trying to find any way to save every little fraction of a cent. "Hey! that guy said ketchup only on his cheeseburger, dont give him any cheese! I've saved $0.001!!!". Come on man, just give me good food and I'll give you my good money. But then I guess thats the problem isn't it? Good service or bad we all still go and get screwed at the drive-thru. Yay for us.

She had really nice hair

2007-05-10T12:17:00.000-07:00

It's spring, and its been really nice out lately. With all the warm weather there are a lot of women walking around in shorts and tank tops, and other really cute spring/summer time clothes. I do what any other guy does, I admire the scenery.

Im single and looking, and yea I'm looking a lot lately. Lots of beautiful women of all ages prancing about enjoying the sun and nice weather. Good times are had by all.

So why am I posting? Well, I saw a woman walking down the street, she was petit and had gorgeous hair. I was thinking to myself "Wow, thats really nice hair, I wonder if thats natural or colored?" It was a really nice Auburn with shiny highlights that really looked awesome. Im thinking she must be some college student from somewhere in the area just walking about on her lunch break. I walk a little faster to see if I could get a glimpse of her face, maybe a smile and polite hello as we pass. She turns to enter a shop and just then I'm thinking, "She really has nice haiAAAAHHH!!!!". Turns out the 'young lady' I was looking at must've been in her mid 70's and had that really leathery way to tanned skin. I recoiled so hard I think I hurt my back. Not that older people shouldn't try to be pretty or anything, It just really was something out of the twilight zone, or outer limits. She was walking at a good pace, nothing to indicate an older woman. Guess she was in pretty good shape, god bless her. But sheesh, I was NOT ready for that. I mean i was already in mid fantasy when the truth was revealed. *shudder*

Looks like I need to more fact finding before I start drooling. I'll see you later, I gotta find something for this back pain.

Stupidity is a Sickness

2007-05-07T08:08:00.000-07:00

You know its a sickness, you've caught it from time to time just like a cold or flu. We all have. Each of us has taken our turns being completely stupid. Sometimes for mere moments and other times for years on end. (You know who you are) But the truly afflicted, these are those people who are chronically stupid. They may spend their entire lives going from one act of stupidity to the next. They are stupid on such a scale as to dwarf all other stupidity. These people need our help.

How can we help you ask? Well there is no 'stupid shot' to cure these people. There is no pill to alleviate the pain of their affliction(or ours). It's a long and arduous process, much like rehabilitation of a broken limb. So what do we do? It's very simple. We mock them. Seriously, we mock them. At our core what becomes unpleasant becomes something we do less. And being mocked and embarrassed is not something anyone enjoys. Psychologists call it 'Negative Reinforcement". I call it the answer to all of our problems. There may be no cure for cancer, but I say there IS a cure for stupidity. And it is our responsibility to make this world a better place.

Now its possible that mocking people is something certain people may be uncomfortable with. Personally I don't know anyone like that, but I'm leaving it open for those select few that think its 'wrong' to point out someone's flaws for the rest of us to laugh at. And if they say otherwise they've probably been on the receiving end for far to long to appreciate its value to society. All you need to do is go to Google Video, or YouTube to see the value in mocking someone else's stupidity for your own personal enjoyment. Mocking people comes naturally not only because its funny, but because its built into out DNA as part of our survival instinct. When primitive man was huddled in a cave for shelter and protection from predators, what happened to the guy making all that noise and attracting the animals to feed? He was most likely beaten. But lets say if a similar but less offensive act was committed, leaving out a stray piece of meat for example, that cave man was mocked and ridiculed and forced to change that behavior for the good of the tribe.

And so it should be with our modern brethren. Why do we have to accept all this stupidity and lower our standards as humans when all you need to do is mock those idiots and point out to them that this sort of stupidity is not acceptable. Not only have we pointed out to the perpetrator of the stupid act that it was indeed something completely stupid, but we've instilled in them the feeling that they never want to do that stupid thing ever again. And all the while we've made the rest of us smile and laugh at their expense thereby lightening the load of shouldering the consequences of their stupidity. To quote Friedrich Nietzsche, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." So as long as you can't kill someone with ridicule, I say have at it.

In effect we all become happier, the stupid gain valuable knowledge of their stupidity so that they may act on seeking treatment. And that treatment may simply be to be more informed about their surroundings. Possibly reading a newspaper, or a book. Becoming an overall better person because of it. To quote Abraham Lincoln, "Upon the subject of education, not presuming to dictate any plan or system respecting it, I can only say that I view it as the most important subject which we as a people may be engaged in. That everyone may receive at least a moderate education appears to be an objective of vital importance."

Education through mocking. It could elevate us to higher standards of living. It could bring about world peace, lower gas prices, and put an end to homelessness. All we need to do is simply point and laugh. Something any 3rd grader can do, and the world can be a better place. It could save us all.

Hello there

2007-05-03T17:43:00.000-07:00

I wanted somewhere to just rant a bit, share some funny links and really just express my distress over the rampant plague sweeping the planet called "stupid people". I didnt know if I wanted to host my own site, or whatever, but this seemed a nice way to just stop procrastinating and start posting.

Hello everyone. I don't know how entertaining this will all be for you guys, but I plan to have a good time ranting my ass off. And I expect you'll laugh with me as I describe the most seriously afflicted members of our society I encounter on a regular basis.

Thanks for stopping by, by the way :)